Dating someone with children
Imagine yourself hanging out with your friends at the park when all of a sudden this drop dead gorgeous person catches your eye.
Next thing you know, the two of you are conversing.
Turns out from the little conversation you’ve had that this person is a perfect 10, or so you think.
As you are parting ways, you turn back to catch one more quick glance of your new potential squeeze and see a screaming child approaching.
Worriedly, you start to wonder, “Is that their kid?”
It is becoming more common to date people with children, but ask anyone who has done it and they will tell you it’s not easy.
Ruth DeLuna, a human resource specialist for the San Antonio Independent School District, recently married her boyfriend of seven years who happened to have two daughters from a previous relationship.
DeLuna described how it took a while to adapt to dating a man with children.
In the beginning of the relationship, she would refrain from spending time with the girls. She found it difficult to have to share his attention with his kids and found it challenging to realize that there will always be another woman in his life, his children’s mother.
When dating someone with kids, DeLuna has some advice.
Don’t get involved with the children until you are comfortable with the state of your relationship.
The kids could get attached to you, or vice versa, and if you happen to break up with your partner, you’re not just breaking up with him, you are also breaking up with the children, she said.
If the relationship does turn serious, DeLuna advises meeting your partner’s ex. If your partner’s ex is OK with you, then it makes the relationship easier, she said.
Lastly, you have to realize there will be times where you take a back seat to your partner’s kids, and having to share his time can be difficult.
You can’t be selfish; you knew what you were getting yourself into so you just have to take it as it is and put yourself in the children’s shoes, DeLuna said.
J.A. Garcia