Living Together
Marriage is a commitment a couple makes for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death.
Some couples choose to cohabit before making a commitment of marriage.
Gloria Bustamante and her husband, Gilbert, have been married 20 years.
“Couples who are not married, but live together are not really making a special commitment,” she said over her breakfast toast.
Cohabiting couples do not have a secure relationship because if the couple has an argument, one partner may decide to move out and then back in because the problem has been resolved, creating a continuous cycle within the relationship, she said.
If her children were to decide to cohabit, “What is a parent to do?” she said.
She said she strongly disagrees with couples cohabiting; however, if her children made that decision she would respect it.
“This generation takes sex too casual,” she said.
A familiar line for males is “If you really love me, you will have sex with me,” she said.
She said females need to respond by saying, “Well, if you really love me, you should wait for me.”
As opposed to Gloria’s and Gilbert’s relationship, Reyna Lozano, 24, and Josh Rodriguez, 31, have been dating for about four years and cohabiting for two years and are recently engaged.
“The first couple of months were difficult because we had to get used to each other’s habits,” she said.
Every couple has problems, but if a couple has a strong connection and each respects the other, there is not a problem with cohabiting. Couples who cohabit should be mature and understand what they are getting into because it is not a game, she said.
A couple who has an argument should not simply leave but communicate and resolve the problem, Lozano said.
Living together was a decision Lozano and Rodriguez made because they loved and trusted each other.
“We knew we wanted to be together,” she said.
Adriana F. De Leon