It can happen to men, too

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One out of seven men are victims of domestic violence.

By Sasha D. Robinson

sac-ranger@alamo.edu

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and according to the website www.nrcdv.com/dvam/dvam-history, the month brings advocates together across the nation who are working to end violence against women and their children.

The website does not mention men can also be victims.

Men can also be victims of domestic violence, but because they may be considered stronger than women, the perception is that if a man reports abuse, they would not be taken seriously.

Maria Jimenez, certified adviser at services for women and non-traditional students, said in an interview Oct. 16 if a man would come forward about being abused, it would help raise awareness about men being abused by their spouses or significant others.

“I think we need to raise that awareness,” Jimenez said. “They are going to be laughed at. People are going to say you are weak or you let a woman do that to you. Those remarks, sad to say, but it comes from man to man and it should not be. I think that awareness needs to be raised, but I think for us to be able to raise the awareness, we need men to come together and be able to say they have been abused.”

According to the article, “Help for men who are being abused,” on www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-are-being-abused.htm, men sometimes may not want to report the abuse because they may feel that no one will believe them, feel embarrassed or if they do report the abuse, the police will not believe them as being victims.

The movie “Men Don’t Tell,” released March 14, 1993 and starring Peter Strauss and Judith Light, is about a husband who is verbally and physically abused by his wife.

Strauss’ character was attacked by his wife (Light) after a Christmas party because she thought he was cheating on her.

The wife tripped over the Christmas tree, knocked it over and hurt herself.

The police came to their home to investigate and saw that she was on the ground.

Officers believed the husband abused his wife without asking him questions about what happened and threatened to take him to jail.

They told him that if they had to come back to the home, they would take him to jail even if she doesn’t press charges.

Men can experience this abuse for years but may not want to leave their children in the hands of their abusers so they won’t be abused, according to the article “Men don’t tell … About being abused” by George McCaslands published March 14, 2013, found at hubpages.com/relationships/otherfaceofdomesticviolence.

Alamo College’s Police Deputy Chief Joe Pabon said in an interview Oct. 10 since he has been at this college, no men have made a report about being victims of domestic violence.

“We take domestic violence seriously, whether it is a man or a woman,” Pabon said. “It makes no difference to us because it is a serious offense.”

 “Men should come in and do the report,” Pabon said. “The first step is for men to come in and talk to us and let us know what is going on so we can handle it.”

Students at this college believe that men being victims of domestic violence is a subject that should not be treated differently than any other forms of domestic violence.

Biology sophomore Samantha White said men being victims of domestic violence is an issue no one wants to talk about.

“There is ignorance that males are dominant and always going to be on top and there is no way they can be abused or belittled by a woman,” White said. “This is an older view that should not be around. There are old stigmas that are put in place that are pretty predominate and people have not opened their eyes to step away from it. History has instilled a lot of morals that we should not have.”

Psychology sophomore Benjamin Turner said, “Men are seen as strong figures who should never be bothered by anything. In reality, it is a stigma that should not be there because men are human and have feelings. Even though it is frowned upon in the community does not make it any less real.”

Biology nursing sophomore Alex Tovar said she would be shocked if one of her male friends talked to her about being abused.

Tovar said, “I would try to be a support system for that person and try to convince them to get out of the relationship.”

Nursing sophomore Antonio Silva said men and women have equal rights.

“It should be out in the media,” Silva said. “People should pay more attention to it and especially for men and women. It is pain that is unnecessary and can be resolved with help by someone else.”

Nursing freshman Carlos Lopez said that men are human and should not fall into a different category as women being victims of domestic violence.

“Men that are victims of domestic violence is serious and this is demoted and or not taken seriously,” Lopez said.

For more about men being victims of domestic violence or for help, call the Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women 1-888-743-5754 or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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